


Black

by WhiskeysWorks



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Genji Shimada, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-04 16:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskeysWorks/pseuds/WhiskeysWorks
Summary: “Jesus, Gen. What in the hell are you doin’ coming in here like that?” Jesse groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.Genji didn’t respond—Jesse hadn’t expected him to—but something felt different. The gunslinger looked up at him now that he was more awake, eyes widening slightly at the sight he was met with.





	Black

Genji had been missing from their shared barrack ever since Jesse had come back from his last mission. That was almost four days ago. And Jesse knew for a fact that the cyborg hadn’t been assigned to any missions either, which left a rather bleak option. He must have been getting modifications. 

Genji never said anything about them—Jesse had learned to never ask—but the results were always the same. Anger. Deeper self-loathing. Silent and potent, destructive when Genji let it out during training. It always left him more of a mess than when he went in, even if it looked the opposite from the outside. 

Jesse worried about him, though, there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Genji delt with it alone, didn’t ask for help or pity, lashed out when it was given. Pain and agony, is how he once described it. Jesse didn’t doubt the truth of that statement. 

The gunslinger was looking over the details for his upcoming mission, not an easy one either, and he was far from excited about the early start required for the next day. Reyes had run them pretty ragged in training earlier; Jesse’s muscles were aching and sore already. Tomorrow was going to be rough. 

Jesse sighed, setting his tablet down and flicking out the lights. He needed some sleep if he was going to get through the next day with everything still intact.

 

The sound of the door sliding open and shut had Jesse startling awake. His hand was on his gun and leveled in the direction of the noise before he had even fully sat up. Jesse squinted at the figure standing in the doorway, recognizing the red glowing on Genji’s eyes and chest. He lowered his gun, turning on a light.

“Jesus, Gen. What in the hell are you doin’ coming in here like that?” Jesse groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. 

Genji didn’t respond—Jesse hadn’t expected him to—but something felt different. The gunslinger looked up at him now that he was more awake, eyes widening slightly at the sight he was met with. 

Genji’s form was hunched, dark veins noticeable even in the low light, stark against the pallor of his skin. His faceplate was missing, and he looked sick. Very sick. The veins ran up the side of his pale face and under his eyes, dark and sunk in as they were. 

Something was wrong with his eyes, too; they were completely black, save for his glowing red irises. There was a redish-black liquid oozing from the sides of his mouth, more sliding down his cheeks from his eyes. Tears. 

Jesse stood, walking over to him cautiously.

“Shit. Genji, what the hell happened?” He breathed, not daring to touch yet without permission. Not when Genji was like this. 

It took a moment for the words to even register, the ninja taking a shivery inhale before responding.

“It. It’s not working.” His voice was barely above a whisper, halting, more robotic sounding than human even without the mask.

“What? What’s not working?”

Genji’s eyelids fluttered, more of that dark liquid dripping down his face as he looked up at Jesse. Everything was slow, uneven. The ninja’s fingers were twitching, clenching and unclenching. His eyes looked haunted, unfocused.

“It hurts…So…Much. They don’t—Work anymore.”

“Genji, what doesn’t work?” Jesse demanded, trying his best to keep his voice gentle and devoid of the panic rising in his chest.

“The medications…Everything. It just—It doesn’t work. This isn’t working…It’s just making every-rything worse.” Speech jarring, Genji’s words hitching on suppressed sobs. 

Jesse took a breath, then tentatively reached out, hand gently cupping Genji’s jaw. The ninja flinched at the touch. Then, his face crumpled on a silent wail, body tipping forward to press against Jesse, head buried in his chest. 

The cowboy adjusted, then moved to pick Genji up and carry him to the bed, murmuring soft nothings into his hair unconsciously. Genji coughed, choked on a cry and more of the blackness dribbling from his bottom lip. Jesse held him and wiped it away with his shirt, arm braced around Genji’s shoulders to keep him upright and pressed to his chest. 

The ninja was leaning into it, for once. Desperate and vulnerable, hands clutching at Jesse hard enough to bruise. He didn’t mind, didn’t even think about it.

“You’ll be okay, I’ve got you. Just breathe, you’ll make it through tonight, I’m right here with you.” Jesse murmured, swiping Genji’s hair back from his face. His forehead was damp with sweat, whole body trembling. Grip tightening with every shallow, wet-sounding inhale.

“It hurts, J-Jesse, it—!”

“You’ll make it, just breathe with me, alright? Breathe, Genji, can you do that for me?”

Jesse didn’t wait for a response, simply started to count slowly, whispered with each breath in and out. Minutes or hours could have passed, for all Jesse could tell, but Genji eventually started to breathe with him. Stuttering and quick at first, but evening out just a little more with every inhale. 

The cowboy stopped counting, the whirr of Genji’s internal machinery vibrating his chest, louder than usual. Time continued to pass, Genji staring blankly at the wall, head still tucked against Jesse, hands loosening their grip. 

The black ooze had stopped flowing so much, though, the ninja’s lips and cheeks were stained with it. Jesse’s shirt, too. Jesse didn’t move his hands much, just holding, Genji wincing at every little movement indication enough that he was more than painfully sensitive right now. 

Genji’s eyes slipped shut slowly, Jesse leaning back slightly when they had been that way for a good while. Maneuvering the ninja as gently as he could, Jesse laid him back on the pillows, pulling a blanket over the both of them, tucking it over Genji’s shoulders. Jesse felt stiff, but he propped himself up on his elbow anyways as he watched the rise and fall of Genji’s body as he breathed. There was a slight wheeze to it, but it was better than before. 

He didn’t go to sleep for another couple of hours, keeping a watchful eye on the ninja to make sure he was safe.

 

Jesse had only just started to fall asleep when Genji shifted with a soft grunt. The cowboy’s arm had been laid over his waist for space management on the single bed, and Jesse had been too tired to think much of it. He kept his eyes closed, even as Genji moved again and mumbled something, lost in his half-asleep stupor.

“McCree, get off.”

Jesse heard that pretty clearly though, the little shove that accompanied it waking him just a bit more.

“Mmn.”

“Get off of me!” Genji rasped as he forcefully untangled himself. A few harsh jabs from the ninja’s thrashing made Jesse roll over, hands raised placidly.

“Okay, okay. Sorry.” He mumbled with a certain bite, throwing a glare towards Genji, who slipped off the bed quickly.

“It’s not like I stayed up all night to make sure you didn’t choke or anythin’.”

“I didn’t ask you to do it, so don’t expect any thanks for it.” Genji hissed, eyes still darkened but looking more or less normal. 

Jesse let out a bitter laugh, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Oh, of course not. Why would I ever expect Genji Shimada to be grateful for anythin’ I try and do for him? My bad, partner. Sorry for being such a goddamn bother to you, I’ll make sure to just ignore you next time. Make it easier on the both of us.”

Genji was silent, a strange mix of emotions flitting across his face. Oddly enough, they were harder for Jesse to identify with the mask off. He finally looked down, features settling on something akin to guilt and hurt. Jesse didn’t have it in him to try and remedy the situation, although, he almost didn’t want to. 

He had simply tried to do the right thing and help Genji, but he was getting his arm twisted for it in return. Jesse didn’t know how many reactions like this it would take for him to catch on that Genji didn’t want help—at least not his help. It was a waste of his time and effort at this point. 

Before his anger could boil over into something outside of his own thoughts, Jesse’s comm beeped.

“Fuck…” He muttered, turning it off and tossing it on the bed, head in his hands.

“I can’t believe I still do this for you when I know I’ll just get this in return.” Jesse sighed as he stood, picking up the gear he had set out the previous night and going into the bathroom. 

The door slid shut, Genji’s eyes never leaving the ground.

When Jesse was finished getting ready for the mission, Genji was nowhere to be seen. The gunslinger sighed, took his comm, put on his hat, and left.

-

The mission, as predicted, had been rough. More so due to the severe lack of sleep Jesse had gotten. He came back to the base with more bruises and bleeding gashes than he should have, exhaustion making him slower and more susceptible to making mistakes. And Jesse had made plenty of those during the fight that had broken out. 

Still, they made it out alive and had secured the information they needed about some of Talon’s main endorsers. Jesse, however, couldn’t care less at the moment; the only thing he was looking forward to was a shower and a nice long nap. 

He didn’t bother with going to the med bay—nothing was life threatening, which meant it could wait—heading straight for his barrack. The cowboy left his armour and clothes on the floor, showering as quick as he could under lukewarm water. Washing the grime, sweat, and blood off just well enough to not feel too disgusting to sleep. 

Jesse barely dried his hair, threw on some clean pants, then stumbled towards his bed. Genji looked up at him from where he was curled on his own, knees tucked to his chest. He had his faceplate back on, everything seemingly back to healthy and normal on him. 

Genji’s brow creased as his eyes flicked over Jesse.

“You’re hurt.”

“It’s not bad.” The gunslinger mumbled half-heartedly, pulling a blanket over himself and laying down. God, it felt so good to be in a bed.

“Why haven’t you seen Dr. Ziegler?” Genji asked softly, Jesse grunting in response.

“McCree?”

Jesse didn’t hear anything else, asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

 

It was dark when Jesse opened his eyes again, groggily shifting to see what time it was. Almost three, Jesse assuming in the morning. Pinpoints of red cut through the dark room, staring at the gunslinger. Genji was laying parallel to him on his own bed, Jesse’s eyes adjusting to the darkness. 

He didn’t say anything, and neither did Genji. Their last conversation was still heavy in the back of Jesse’s mind; he knew they both could have handled it a lot better than they did. And yet, they hadn’t. The gunslinger looked at the bedside table with a sigh, breaking eye contact with the ninja. He didn’t feel like holding the gaze, or feeding the tension. 

There was an empty biotic field sitting next to his tablet, Jesse realizing he wasn’t as sore or pained as he normally would be after a mission. He looked back to Genji, propping his head up on his hand.

“You put that there for me?” Jesse asked, knowing no one else could have, but it was at least a conversation starter. 

Genji’s eyes flicked to the biotic field, then back to Jesse. He nodded. It was an obvious apology, the cowboy smiling at the effort.

“Thanks, partner. Appreciate it.”

Genji looked away this time, body curling inwards ever so slightly. He took a little breath.

“I…Got in trouble with Dr. Ziegler. Because of the other night. I was supposed to stay in the med bay, but I couldn’t—I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t know where else to go that felt…Safe.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Gen.”

“I am just trying to say that…I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Jesse shrugged, Genji staring at him with a crease in his brow. The gunslinger sat up with a grunt, moving over to sit on the edge of Genji’s bed, hands clasped over his lap.

“I wish there was a way I could show you that I just want to help. And I get it if you don’t want me to, but what you just told me says otherwise. Now, maybe I’m just readin’ it wrong—”

“No.”

Jesse tipped his head in Genji’s direction, the ninja sitting up next to him but not meeting his eye.

“You…Do help. More than you realize,” Genji whispered, shoulders curling inwards, fingers digging into the bed.

“I wish I was better at showing you that.”

Jesse slid his hand towards Genji’s, curling his pinky around a cybernetic one. The ninja turned to him, hesitation and guilt dancing behind his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jesse.”

Jesse gave him a lopsided grin, squeezing his pinky lightly.

“It’s okay. I’m still here for you if you ever need me. That ain’t gonna change.”

Genji glanced down at their hands, eyes closing briefly before he nodded. He leaned against Jesse, squeezing back.

“Thank you.”

Jesse smiled, tipping his head towards Genji’s.

“You’re welcome, darlin’.”

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is OverwatchWorks, there are many more McGenji and other fics there! :) Thank you for reading!


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